Background Info

I know many of you have been loyal readers, and I’m very thankful for that and the support you’ve given me.  Some of you many have started reading in the middle of my writing and may not know much about me so I’m giving you a brief synopsis.

I’m 27 single mom of a 3 1/2 year old daughter.  I live in MN and work full-time.  I’ve always been was so busy taking care of life that I forgot about myself and eventually lost faith in myself and didn’t respect myself or think I deserved to be healthy.  I got lazy, depressed and overall just didn’t take care of myself.  I wanted to lose weight, but I didn’t have the energy to put effort into anything real.  I tried multiple ways (Weight Watchers, many types of diet pills, not eating, and exercising while eating terribly).  Finally one day it clicked, I was ready to change and willing to do it the healthy way.  That’s when I found SlimGenics.  I went in for a consultation, signed up and was excited to start.

I started SlimGenics at 219 pounds and currently weigh around 159 (I’m 5′ 8″).  Previous to starting this program I was desperate and broken.  Here is an excerpt from an old blog from June 2010 before starting SlimGenics:

It seems that I’m desperate these days to shed a few pounds. I know ALL the reasons that I want to lose some weight; I don’t even have an unrealistic goal, but what I do have is lack of continuous motivation. I get little spurts of “YES, I can do”, but it doesn’t last long. Back in March (2010), I worked hard and hit a goal before vacation. That felt great. I went from 216 to 205 in 25 days. I was amazed at myself for working out and eating better (yes, I was taking diet pills too, but that wasn’t the only contributing factor). Two and a half weeks later, I was back up to 215. That was because I stopped working out and eating right, plus I went on vacation and was drinking and eating anything I wanted. So, I know that I can temporarily hit a goal, but my ultimate goal is for a life change, not just a “diet” so that I can bounce right back up to where I began…or worse, heavier.

Right now I’m at 217 and started taking these new pills called Healthe Trim. My co-worker is taking them and they seem to be working for her, so I thought I’d give it a try. Yes, I’m spending lots of money on trying all these types of pills in desperate hopes that one will work. Deep down, I know that it’s me that has to change my lifestyle. Baby steps are the way; however I’m definitely an instant gratification type of person.

Reasons to lose some weight (some big, some minor):
• Hit my goal and feel good about myself (the major one)
• More energy
• Less stress on my knees
• Able to fit into Valleyfair rides better!
• More endurance for certain “activities”
• Fit into my clothes better
• Be an example to Maddie
• Start believing that I can actually do and stick to something

My goal: Maintain a weight around 199 or 200 pounds and feel better about myself. See that’s not unrealistic. According to weight charts for my height I should weigh between 146 – 167 pounds. I don’t want to, nor do I feel that I need to listen to those charts. I think I would be comfortable at the goal, I’ve set. If I think about it, the goal isn’t that far away, however it’s much hard then I imagine. Someone mentioned that the reason I can’t hit my goal is because I’m lazy. Yes, they are correct. How do I change this? Part of the reason is because my lack of energy. It’s hard to want to work out when you’re tired and feeling like sitting your butt and watch TV. Putting incentives out for reaching a small goal don’t seem to work for me. I buy what I want anyways, so putting an incentive out there isn’t something I work to obtain. I’m not sure what way will keep me motivated. I haven’t quite figured this out yet. Until then it will be a terrible struggle and even after I figure it out, I feel it will still be a challenge.

No, I don’t feel sorry for myself and that’s why I’m writing this to get sympathy. I’ve done this to myself and I need to change myself. I’m writing this to put it down on paper for myself to remember. You all just happen to be reading the blog I posted it on. I know that other people struggle too and that it’s hard for so many people. People deal with it in their own way and some people don’t complain about it. I’m not complaining really, just expressing how I feel on the subject in how it relates to me, not anyone else. This is an internal battle and it’s hard. I’ve struggled with many things over my life and there are other hard battles that I’ve overcome or that I manage well these days. Why can’t this one be like that, why is this one still always there?

I would have never imagined that I would weigh in the 150’s, it sounds crazy.  I thought I would have been happy at 199, but I kept going and I’m still learning to be comfortable with myself.  It’s amazing the mental battles we go through in regards to our body image.  It was great to read that old blog and realize that I’ve accomplished and exceed what I originally set out to do.  I should be so proud of myself, I know others are.  Hmm, something to contemplate and maybe I should start listening to them, LOL.