Day 1

Yesterday was “day 1” of my new goal. 30 days of trying…. I want to lose weight but try for a day and then forget about trying or eat something “bad” and say screw it. Well now I’m going to try to write daily to hold myself more accountable. I have a weight goal. An attainable number to reach and I also think I want to add, exercise 3 times per week. 

Day 1: it went OK. I had a bunch of times where I wanted to eat, especially candy but realized I wasn’t actually hungry i just had the thought of that habit of always eating.

I did get myself to go to the exercise room and walked for 20 minutes at about 3.3-3.5mph. My shins really tightened up and hurt. Then for about 5 minutes I did some arm weights.  The next day I’m sore.

I drank about 3 glasses of water and didn’t snack after dinner or drink alcohol at all.

Things I noticed about yesterday:
-yay for not drinking alcohol!
-Yay for exercising!
-Being sore today makes me not want to exercise today
-I could drink more water
-try to eat smaller portions
-yay I had a vegetable as a snack!

That’s all for today!

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Instant Satisfaction

I came across a post today “Instant vs Delayed Gratification” and realized that I hardly say no to myself when it comes to food AND if I do say no it doesn’t last long as I usually give in.  I hate dealing with the discomfort that comes with denying myself something that I want (and want it now or else my brain continually obsesses over it).

The quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, “For everything that you missed, you have gained something else, and for everything that you gain, you lose something else,” struck a cord with me.  I never actually thought about it in that way and now that I’m putting some thought into it, it’s very true.

I want want want certain junk foods, but I don’t think about the needs of my body.  So, by giving into my want I gain temporary satisfaction that comes from devoring that food, but I give up part of my health and happiness.  I just feel shame after and for what?  A short gain of pleasure?  I’m not thinking about my actual needs and if I do, I dismiss them so quickly thinking that I can do what’s right for myself anyways.  I don’t like dealing with the discomfort of wanting something and not getting it.

I try to remember to treat myself like I would my five-year-old daughter…… If she wanted something and it wasn’t needed or beneficial to her (i.e. a second helping of dessert) I wouldn’t give it to her, even if she threw a fit.  She would just have to deal with that discomfort because I know I’m trying to do what’s right for her.  HOWEVER, I don’t treat myself that way.  I want something, if I say no, I have a frantic three-year-old throwing a tantrum in my head, crossing my arms, stomping my feet and making a giant production out of not getting my way.  So, what do I do?  I give in to myself and eat what I want.  There is hardly any delay of dealing with the discomfort and trying to wait out the craving. I can’t believe I give into myself SOOOO easily.  It’s insane.  I keep doing that and hoping for other results, but that will never happen if I can’t control myself.  I can’t believe what I’m giving up for such crap.  It’s not a fair trade off.  It’s not fair to myself.

I just thought that was an interesting post so I thought I’d share.

What about you?  Do you give in to yourself?  Would you let your kid get away how we treat ourselves?

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Prep Days Flop?

I’m trying not to say I’m a complete failure, but it’s hard not to think that way.  I started the Three-day prep (from the SlimGenics program) on Wednesday and the only “cheat” I had that day that was off plan was 1/2 grapefruit, so that I’m counting as OK.  Then Thursday I did fine too, again another 1/2 grapefruit.  I weighed in Friday morning and was down 3 pounds, but I dismissed that as if it didn’t count.

Everything was going well when I had it planned out until Friday afternoon.  Work closes at Noon on Friday and I packed a mini lunch and ate that before I left for the day, but I had to run errands after work and eventually got really hungry and reached for the easiest thing…….fast food.  NOOOOOOOOOOO.  I had a wrap and fries and thought I totally failed.  Later that night I tracked calories and realized I still ate way less calories that day than I would have normally, so I’m trying to be nice to myself.  By the end of the night I was so frustrated at myself and wanted to give up and eat ice cream, somehow I didn’t, but I still felt horrible about myself.

This morning I weighed myself after the ending of my three-day prep and I was down one pound.  REALLY?  Fail!  I just feel like I shouldn’t even try.  I don’t even know why I countinue to try at all.  I feel like a flop.  I want to give up.

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Prep Days

Back in October 2010 I joined SlimGenics and I began my weight loss journey.  It was a success.  I was even a success story and ended up on http://www.slimgencis.com!

Success StoryI was so happy to have hit my goal.  It felt amazing.  I felt amazing!  However over the past few years the weight is creeping back on and it really scares me.  I keep talking about how I want to change my eating habits and/or starting to exercise, but talk is all it is, no action.

Today I took some action.  I’ve been looking over my SlimGenics materials over the past week and it just happened.  I went to the grocery store today to pick up just a few fruits and vegetables and I ended up buying everything I need for a three-day prep!

Food

Tomorrow I will start.  I am prepared.  I’ve already packed my lunch and planned my food for tomorrow.

6.11.13 Food (1)

Washing, chopping and prepping is a lot of work.  I usually hate doing it, but today it felt good.  I knew I was doing a good thing for myself.  I need to remember to just keep my food planned and know that I have done this before and that I can do it again!

Wish me luck!!!

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Be Proud for Exercise

Yay, I’ve been proud of myself for starting to exercise a bit more.  I am signed up for two 5K runs and I wanted to be able to do them without feeling like a complete idiot who is out of breath in the first five minutes and I didn’t want to be the last person; however even the last person should be proud for finishing!

So, I’ve went on the treadmill a few times and it’s been really hard to get myself to do it.  I usually manage to talk myself out of it and find all the stupid excuses.  One time, true story here, I wanted to do Zumba on my Wii.  I mean I actually had a desire to do it and was excited about it, but once I went to the living room to do it, I realized I’d have to move the coffee table.  BAM, I hit that resistance wall and that was the doom of my workout.  I sadly did not do any Zumba that evening and was quite disappointed in myself for using such a lame ass excuse.  I mean seriously, that was my excuse?  Come on Danielle.

So, back to being proud of myself.  Granted I did not do Wii Zumba that evening I have managed a few times to make it down to the treadmill.  It isn’t located in my house, so it’s not super convenient, but I did it!  At first I told myself I was going to walk for 20 minutes and I did. I even managed a mile that time.  That same week I decided to go to a Zumba class at the local community center.  It was for an hour, I figured I’d die, but if I couldn’t last the whole hour then it was OK if I left a bit early, but nope, I managed the whole hour.  Woot!  

Then the next time I decided to exercise was very random.  I was frustrated, irritated and upset at the pain joys of being a parent and life’s tough times, but instead of emotional eating I got dressed and said I was going for a run.  I didn’t ask for permission, I didn’t even feel bad for leaving the house, but instead I went for a walk/job OUTSIDE.    It was February in Minnesota and was only 27 degrees.  I did it, I went for a whole mile in 17 minutes.  I came back into the house and thought; what the hell was that?  I don’t jog for fun or when I’m upset and surely I don’t do it outside in the winter.  I thought I was insane, but for some odd reason I was proud.  Now, I’m not going to go into each time I’ve exercised since then, but I have done it.  Not often, but more than before so that’s a good start.  I even was able to walk/jog a mile in 14 minutes the other day and continued after that for another 1/2 mile for a total of 1.5 miles in 22 minutes.  Now, I can’t compare myself to others because to some that it minuscule, but to me I’m proud. 

You can’t tell too much here, but here is a sweaty picture after my 22 minutes 1.5 mile jog!

Jogging on Treadmill

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Smoothie Kick!

I’m on a smoothie kick.  Well, actually I have been for a few weeks, but I’ve been going to this smoothie place by my house and buying them, until I tried making them at home.  It works and tastes yummy.

Tonight I made my usually smoothie (one banana, frozen strawberries, raspberry sherbet, a little raspberry pomegranate juice and ice); however I read somewhere that you could add spinach too it as well to get a serving of veggies in.  I thought it sounded gross, but I tried it anyways.  It tastes good, just has a funny color to it.  I should have just added some green food coloring and called it a Shamrock smoothie or something.  My daughter was even willing to try some and said it tasted fine.  Go me!

Smoothie

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A little overhang

Most days while sitting at work I try to squeeze closer to my desk so that I can see the screen better  and something happens.  It is in the area of my body that I dread.  It happens when I wear jeans, I see it when I get dressed and it isn’t pretty.  I’m very aware of it and I hate it.  I hate the overhang of my belly.

So there I was sitting at my desk and I felt compelled to take a picture, thinking that maybe if I saw it from a different angle it would motivate me to do something more about it.  Nope, just made me feel worse.

My stomach

Granted even when I hit my goal weight with SlimGenics and was down to 153 pounds (I’m 5′ 8″) I still had a lot of loose skin and overhang on my stomach.  I also have a ton of nasty stretch marks beautiful tiger strips that I earned (haha).  So, to sum it up I am not happy with my stomach now and I wasn’t even at my goal weight so somehow I need to learn to appreciate the body I have even if there is some overhang.

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