*Sigh* The feeling of fatness

I
I feel
I feel really
I feel really fat…..

Yes, that is how I feel.  I then feel paralyzed to do anything to change how I feel.  I basically sulk in my misery and feel bad every time I eat anything, yet I continue to do it.  Why do I do this to myself?  Why can’t I either feel comfortable in my body OR do something to change what I do like.  Instead I sit here on my butt and write a blog about how crappy I feel.  Is it doing me any good to be doing basically nothing?

I know I’m having a little pity party, and I’m sure others can relate.  I just get so frustrated at myself that I weighed 239 pounds, lost 20 pounds by exercising then lost 66 with SlimGenics and now I am gaining back some of that weight. I am not happy about this.

I AM SCARED.

I am scared of being back to square one, or worse being heavier then I used to be.

I am scared that I’ll continue to sulk and be unmotivated to change my ways.

I am afraid of my daughter catching onto my bad eating/lack of exercise habits.

I am afraid of hating myself forever.

*Sigh* I still feel fat.

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This entry was posted in Body Image, Food, SlimGenics, Struggles and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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