So as most of you know, I’ve been struggling lately and not just in the food/weight area.
Let’s look at the numbers quickly. 5 months ago, back in May 2011 I hit my lowest weight at 153.25 pounds and then went on vacation where I gained weight. I felt bad and tried to continue maintaining around there – obviously I would have loved to go back down, but that just didn’t work out at that time. From July to now I have been bouncing between 160-170 pounds. It’s not all about the numbers, but more so on the fact of my eating habits and how I’m dealing with stress — with food.
I feel that I can contribute a lot of my weight gain and food obsessiveness to my the main source of recent stress, my job that started in May 2011. In the beginning of the job I thought it was just a learning curve and that once I got my feet planted things would be fine, but no. Things only got worse and it’s not uncommon for me to cry on lunch break. Yes, I’ll give you the fact that I’m over emotional and may cry over things that others wouldn’t, but I’ve been so overwhelmed that I couldn’t help it. I was also “dead” so to speak after the work day from how draining the day was. I felt that I couldn’t function in life and that I wasn’t able to do the things that I enjoyed. I had a hard time spending quality time with my daughter, I was always depressed, I stopped blogging as much, haven’t scrapbooked at all, haven’t been keeping up on the SlimGenics Community or my Google reader. Now some of those don’t sound important and they may not be, however they were things I enjoyed, yet I just couldn’t do.
So for 5 months I’ve felt lost and it has directly affected my eating because I didn’t know how else to deal with things. So on top of work stress, I’ve been feeling guilty about food and have been a big mess, but relief might be in sight. I was offered and accepted a new job. I’m really hoping that I’ve made the right decision and that things will begin to improve. Ever since I’ve interviewed I’ve been feeling very anxious and even now that feeling hasn’t went away because I know for the next two weeks work is going to suck and that once I start the new job it’ll be a lot of learning; however hopefully it will get better!
Maybe once I don’t loathe my job then I can focus on eating better and potentially find time/energy for a workout schedule. I am really hoping that this is the relief that I needed and that I can get back to “normal”.