So maybe I’m not ready to change my lifestyle. I thought I was, I thought I had. Reality sometimes slaps you really hard in the face. You can either challenge it or give up. I feel that I’m doing the latter.
Everyday I start fresh, thinking okay today I will not overeat on crappy foods. I am constantly having an internal battle that I usually lose. How can you lose to yourself right? Well you can and I do.
It’s just a hard adjustment to constantly think about making healthy choices when for so long, I’ve eaten easy convenient foods that are NOT healthy. I get really emotional and frustrated when I have to think about food and what choices to make. Do you know how draining that is? You (I) have to think about food so many times in just one day. It get tiring to be continuously frustrated at food and at yourself. I’m not sure how to change it, but I just keep pushing on and hoping that one day it will get just that much easier.
I am in the routine of tracking my food, which is a great step that I’ve been continuing. I think that really helps me to be aware of what I am and am not eating (aka, vegetables or drinking all my water). I try to make conscious choices, but sometimes I just am too overwhelmed and make the wrong (easy) choice, then I beat myself up and think I’m this big failure. I need to try to change my mindset that it is not black and white. I can do this and I don’t need to be so frustrated all the time….but I am at this point. I am still adjusting my lifestyle and want to find a place that is manageable!
I do have some news to share and I’ll be posting that soon, so check back 🙂