I’m going to lay out the facts in an attempt to make myself realize how far I’ve come and that I should be proud of myself.
THEN: At my heaviest (near the end of 2008) I weighed 239 pounds (I’m 5’8″)
NOW: I now weigh 164.5
*That is a loss of 74.5 pounds in just a few years (55 pounds since beginning SlimGenics) Ummm, what the Hell am I thinking? That is amazing and yet I can’t seem to wrap my brain around it. I still feel like I weigh 239 most of the time. I’m a work in progress.
THEN: I got out of breath walking up one flight of stairs
NOW: I walked to up 5 flights of stairs today only to realize that when I reached the top, I felt fine…WOW!
THEN: I wore a size 22 pants
NOW: I can fit into size 10 pants (depending on the brand)
*I know the facts, but I just can’t fathom it
THEN: I used to sweat all the time and I would only buy clothing that wouldn’t show the sweat marks because I felt so embarrased.
NOW: Well it’s winter right now so it’s not as bad, but even when I work out hard now I don’t sweat nearly as much and I’m less embarrassed!
THEN: I used to have desert everyday (multiple times) without even taking a second thought about it, it was just a habit and I had NO vegetables or water.
NOW: Vegetables and water have become habits, obviously I still crave sweets, but I actually try to be mindful of what I’m eating and listen to my body instead of just gorging on crap all day long.
A picture is worth a thousand words……right? The pic on the left is from 2008 – the one on the right is me recently and I’m not even at goal yet, but oh so very close! I really need these visuals because it really shows me that I have changed, I really am doing this. When I get down on myself and reach for those cookies (like I did tonight), it helps for me to go back and see what I looked like before. I looked yucky and I felt even yuckier. When I go back and read posts (like this one, or this one) it reminds me of how good I’ve been feeling and that I do have moments where I was proud. I need to just keep reminding myself that I have changed.
I know so many facts about my weight loss journey not only in terms of numbers (Pounds, inches, pants sizes, ect.), but I know that I’m imporving as a whole person. Slowly but surely. I am learning to care about myself, trying to like who I am and to accept myself for where I am at this very moment. All that is so much easier said than done, but I suppose I have to give myself some credit for recognizing it and being willing to try to make improvements. Being unhappy and disliking myself for so many years doesn’t just go away, it didn’t just happen overnight so I can’t expect it to change that fast either.