Losing Weight….my body…confidence….
I thought all these things would be different. Life sometimes doesn’t turn out the way you imagined. It’s not always a bad thing either. I’m just bringing this up because I know the facts: I’ve lost 29.5 pounds and 16.5″. A normal person would assume that you’d notice a big change like that, riiiiiight? Wrong. I don’t really notice the change in myself. Yes, I see some slight changes and I KNOW the facts, but I thought it would be different. I thought I’d feel amazing, astonished, excited, proud, ect. But the truth is I don’t really. Maybe I’m just minimizing my accomplishment. Maybe I’m just diminishing and ignoring the real changes that I’ve made. I’m not sure what exactly it is, but I do know that I’ve dropped pant sizes and that I’m getting compliments that it’s really noticeable. I suppose being with ones self all day everyday makes it hard to see such changes over a period of time. This is why I like the idea of side by side comparisons, that is really the way I notice a change and can accept it. I avoided going to the SG office today because I feel “fat” or the way I used to feel. I really want to hit that 30 pounds gone mark, and my body wasn’t feeling it today. I just couldn’t set myself up for failure today. I want to wait a little bit until it’s almost a guarantee that I’ve hit that mark. I hope it’s soon because I really want to take those 30 pound pictures so that I can actually see the changes. I’ll go in sometime again this week and hope for the best. I did eat a brownie today though since we had our Holiday Luncheon at work. Hopefully it won’t set me back too much.
Well I think it’s time to rest my brain for now and to go to bed. Hopefully next time you read, I’ll have a positive update for you!