I thought it would be different

Losing Weight….my body…confidence….

I thought all these things would be different.  Life sometimes doesn’t turn out the way you imagined.  It’s not always a bad thing either.  I’m just bringing this up because I know the facts: I’ve lost 29.5 pounds and 16.5″.  A normal person would assume that you’d notice a big change like that, riiiiiight?  Wrong.  I don’t really notice the change in myself.  Yes, I see some slight changes and I KNOW the facts, but I thought it would be different.  I thought I’d feel amazing, astonished, excited, proud, ect.  But the truth is I don’t really.  Maybe I’m just minimizing my accomplishment.  Maybe I’m just diminishing and ignoring the real changes that I’ve made.  I’m not sure what exactly it is, but I do know that I’ve dropped pant sizes and that I’m getting compliments that it’s really noticeable.  I suppose being with ones self all day everyday makes it hard to see such changes over a period of time.  This is why I like the idea of side by side comparisons, that is really the way I notice a change and can accept it.  I avoided going to the SG office today because I feel “fat” or the way I used to feel.  I really want to hit that 30 pounds gone mark, and my body wasn’t feeling it today.  I just couldn’t set myself up for failure today.  I want to wait a little bit until it’s almost a guarantee that I’ve hit that mark.  I hope it’s soon because I really want to take those 30 pound pictures so that I can actually see the changes.  I’ll go in sometime again this week and hope for the best.  I did eat a brownie today though since we had our Holiday Luncheon at work.  Hopefully it won’t set me back too much.

Well I think it’s time to rest my brain for now and to go to bed.  Hopefully next time you read, I’ll have a positive update for you!

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